Vibrating Toys SHOP VIBRATING TOYS JimmyJane™ ASCEND 3™ $120 JimmyJane™ DEIMOS™ $125 JimmyJane™ NEPTUNE 2™ $150 According to Mendez, any self-pleasure tool can be a sex toy, and experimenting with these gadgets is part of the fun. "Finding something that works for you during solo play and then bringing your partners in later keeps things fresh," she says. If this brought to mind vibrators (ding ding ding!), here's where to start: The ASCEND 3™, DEIMOS™, and NEPTUNE 2™ are pulsating vibrators that can be used alone or together. If you’re seeking clitoral stimulation (for that, the ASCEND 3™ is your go-to), even more oomph (try DEIMOS™ for max clitoral vibrations), or prostate pleasure (consider NEPTUNE 2™), each well-being toy has intuitive remote controls that can dial up the intensity for a spontaneous surprise. Massage Oils SHOP FOREPLAY
JimmyJane™ HYDRATE MASSAGE OIL $42 JimmyJane™ VELVET SPICE™ $42 Just remember, the orgasmic climax isn’t the only part of an erotic experience. “Everything begins with foreplay,” says Mendez. “Perhaps start with a non-genital area of the body. This would also be a great way to find other erogenous zones in each other.” Heighten the mood with touch before introducing a sex toy into the equation with sensual add-ons like the citrusy HYDRATE MASSAGE OIL™ or aromatic VELVET SPICE™ candle. "Massage oils are a nice way of helping each other relax and begin to play," Mendez notes. Vibrating panties SHOP VIBRATING PANTIES JimmyJane™ STARLA + CALISTA™ $135 JimmyJane™ ASCEND 3 + CARPO $135 JimmyJane™ STARLA + TYRO™ $135 “Keep introducing different parts of your erotic energy to each other,” says Mendez. “You can also discover new ways to play with each other.” If the word "new" piqued your interest, may we suggest you add vibrating panties to your list?
The JimmyJane™ VIBRATING PANTIES COLLECTION™ combines dressing up (think sheer lace) and sensation play (a silicone vibrator that’s controlled by you or your partner) in one discreet, remote-controlled package. Choose from three styles (an open-back lacy number, a standard cheeky, or a keyhole bikini), and you can pick your vibe... and, ahem, vibrator. Women over 50 often experience more trouble having an orgasm than they did when they were younger. The culprit: lower blood flow to the genitals, combined with diminished production of both testosterone and estrogen. The result: More time is required to climax — or orgasm may not occur at all. Woman holding gift behind her back, Sex toy primer (Kris Ubach and Quim Roser/cultura/Corbis) CORBIS Pepper discusses the most popular types of sex toys and explains how to use them discreetly. Women and their partners can overcome these changes by getting creative.
Vibrators and other gadgets, once viewed as appropriate for solo use only, can dynamically improve a couple's sex play, helping both partners achieve the elusive "Big O." That statement may be news to a minority of readers: A survey conducted by the authors of The Normal Bar (I'm one!) this year found that more than 50 percent of respondents over the age of 50 use sex toys individually or as a couple. The others, I suspect, aren't using them simply because they don't know which ones to try. To fill that knowledge gap (and a few others), here's my decidedly non-prim primer on sex toys: Good vibrations Various iterations of the vibrator, now available in battery-powered or plugged-in models, have been around since the late 19th century. By directly stimulating the nerves, the device helps activate those that are not responding to the usual methods of arousal. Vibrators come in various shapes and sizes — some lifelike. Many models feature adjustable speeds of vibration, a crucial feature for skin that may have become supersensitive over the years. More on Sex 6 myths about vibrators Great sex without intercourse How much do you really know about love and sex? A guy's guide to what women really want
Gay FleshlightThe most famous vibrator is the rabbit, which has been selling briskly ever since Charlotte became addicted to a combination vaginal-clitoral stimulator by that name in Episode 9, Season 1 of Sex and the City in 199 (The clitoral-stimulator portion resembles a pair of bunny ears.) Other popular vibes are the pocket rocket — made for external use, it's four inches long and easy to tuck in a purse — and the G-spot stimulator, a dildo or vibrator that curves up at the end to reach the nerve-rich G-spot on the roof of the vagina. Additionally, there are buzzing and nonbuzzing dildos — penis-shaped objects that can be inserted inside a woman's vagina. Used with a lubricant, these can supplement intercourse, especially if a male partner has inconsistent erections. Put a ring on it Let's say you're a guy and you want to get into the spirit of things; would you consider a penis ring? These are becoming less exotic than they sound; they're often shelved near the condoms in a pharmacy. The ring has a gently expanding band that fits around the base of the penis; a small button activates a vibrator on the ring, positioned to massage the woman's clitoral area during intercourse. So-called "two-headed" versions of the penis ring stimulate both partners simultaneously — sending more blood flowing to the penis.
Another toy popular with older guys is the C ring; it fits around both the penis and the scrotum, and is donned before an erection to boost the quality and duration thereof. The C ring must be removed after orgasm, lest it cut off circulation and cause serious problems. These gadgets take the pressure off performance. They may also strengthen your relationship: Research shows that trying something new often brings a couple closer together. And did I mention they are fun? The remote-control vibrator, for example, is tailor-made for couples with a sense of humor: The vibrator is sewn into panties and, when activated by remote control, sends quiet vibrations across the clitoral area. A surefire antidote for even the most deadly-dull dinner party! Shop smart Whew, that's a lot of toyful terrain to cover!
For more advice, seek online help from one of the more reputable sites, such as goodvibes.com, loverspackage.com or evesgarden.com. And at specialty stores such as Good Vibrations (San Francisco), Lovers (Phoenix, Seattle, Portland, Ore.), Fascinations (Denver) or Babeland (New York, Seattle), discreet and well-trained personnel are on hand to explain device features; their counsel may keep you from making a mistake — important, given that the better toys tend to be costly. And, as you might imagine, all are nonreturnable! If you've ever peeked inside someone's underwear drawer, chances are you've likely found a sex toy tucked away somewhere in the back corner. Nowadays, sexual well-being and taking control of your own pleasure is at an all-time high, and for good reason. According to certified sex therapist and psychotherapist Lee Phillips, LCSW, CST, CSCT, sex toys can be a tantalizing addition to your sex life because they can add diversity, excitement, and creativity to the bedroom. "Routine sex and masturbation can get boring, so why not spice it up and try something new? Sex toys can help you achieve the orgasm you desire," he tells mbg. "Many of my female clients report this because sex toys provide extra clitoral stimulation."
Estim TortureWhether you're a beginner or a seasoned sex toy enthusiast, it can be tricky looking for the right gadget for your orgasm needs. Fear not: We've done the heavy lifting for you so you don't have to break a sweat (until you want to, that is). We've picked the brains of couples' therapists and sex experts to round up the best sex toys for women and vulva owners. These recommendations will get you offline and into the bedroom for the ultimate plug-and-play pleasure. Quick List: Best for beginners: Satisfyer Pro 2+ Best for couples: Dame Eva Best budget: Lovehoney BASICS Mini Vibrator Best for dual stimulation: Happy Rabbit Realistic Dual Density Rabbit Vibrator Best for discreet use: Crave Vesper Best to simulate oral sex: The Womanizer Pro40 Best for clitoral stimulation: The Magic Wand Best for queer women: Wet for Her’s Two Finger Extender
Best for innovation: Lovense Nora How we picked: Expert guidance We asked sex therapists what to look for when searching for the best vibrators and used their expertise as a guideline for selecting these options, and we even included some of their personal recommendations. Body-safe These products are made from body-safe and nontoxic materials, they're safe to use on your body. You can try out these products knowing they're safe for your physical health and pleasure. Inclusive We chose these products from reputable and inclusive sellers who support diversity and the LGBTQ+ community with their product offerings and sexual wellness resources. Good reviews
Through gathering expert recommendations and scouring certified customer reviews, we made sure these sex toy products are highly rated by the people who actually use them. mbg's picks for the best sex toys for women to try in 2022: Best for beginners: Satisfyer Pro 2+ Satisfyer Pro 2+ VIEW ON ADAM & EVE | $67 VIEW ON ENBY | $66 VIEW ON AMAZON | $60 Pro Proprietary air-pulse technology for strong suction Con Can be loud on higher settings Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Yes
Contact UsSex therapist Aliyah Moore recommends the highly reviewed Satisfyer Pro 2+ to vulva owners who are new to sex toys and looking for an orgasm without penetration. "Instead of the typical vibrations that you get from most clitoral vibrators of massagers, the Satisfyer uses pressure waves to stimulate your clitoris." The intensity levels and waterproof feature lets you have multiple orgasms without having to put anything inside of yourself. The medical silicone mouth on the sex toy provides suction to the clitoris, allowing for a unique pleasure you can feel all over. Best for couples: Dame Eva Dame Eva VIEW ON DAME | $135 VIEW ON ELLA PARADIS | $135 Pro Great addition to partnered sex Con Takes experimentation for the right placement Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Yes "[The Eva] is an external-only clitoral stimulator that a clitoris-owner can wear during any type of sex. It's buzzy, on the lighter side, and is great for folks figuring out how to integrate clitoral stimulation during other types of play," relationship and sex therapist Rachel Wright tells mbg. The Eva's slim and compact wearable design allows it to stay in place comfortably while the three-speed motor can reliably get you to orgasm with your partner. Play with it in the bedroom or in the shower; the medical-grade silicone material and waterproof feature allows for fun wherever you want to go.
Best budget: Lovehoney BASICS Mini Vibrator Lovehoney BASICS Mini Vibrator VIEW ON LOVEHONEY | $10 Pro Great value for a basic vibrator Con Vibration may not be powerful enough Rechargeable: No Waterproof: Water-resistant Lovehoney's AA-battery-operated waterproof mini vibrator has an angled tip that helps with direct clitoral and erogeneous zone stimulation during solo and partnered play. The 5-inch vibrator comes with a multi-speed dial for variety with your vibrations while keeping the sound whisper-quiet. The hard plastic ABS materials are latex-free and phthalate-free, meaning it's safe to use on your genitals. Another favorite of Moore's, she recommends the toy as an effective yet budget-friendly option. "It gets the job done for a toy that costs less than your average trip to Starbucks." Best for dual stimulation: Happy Rabbit Realistic Dual Density Rabbit Vibrator Happy Rabbit Realistic Dual Density Rabbit Vibrator
VIEW | $140 VIEW ON BABELAND | $110 Pro Soft and pliable for vaginal or anal use Con Size can be too big for some Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Yes Packed with many vibration and pulsation features, the dual rabbit vibrator is made with super-soft dual-density silicone and ABS plastic for safe play. The powerhouse toy has multiple massaging stimulations, like the flickering rabbit ears to tickle the clitoris and a curve on the shaft of the toy to provide pulsations on your G-spot or prostate. Phillips recommends it for any of his clients looking for simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Best for discreet use: Crave Vesper Crave Vesper VIEW ON BABELAND | $70
Best Anal FleshlightPro Stylish option when you're on the go Con Charge can wear down over time Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Water-resistant If you don't want to keep your sex toys locked away in your nightstand, take the Vesper with you for a night out on the town. Made from high-polish stainless steel, the 3-inch slim pendant shape hangs on a chain around your neck with an intense vibration on the tip for focused clitoral stimulation. "Wear it out and then use it wherever you'd like," Wright recommends. "It's sexy to wear something so out in the open–if you know, you know." Best to simulate oral sex: The Womanizer Pro40 The Womanizer Pro40 VIEW ON LOVEHONEY | $75
VIEW | $70 Pro USB charging cable Con Vibration could be stronger Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Yes Womanizer's Pleasure Air technology provides clitoral stimulation without direct contact, so you get all the pleasure without overstimulating the nerves. The waterproof toy comes with six intensity levels and hours of battery life. Certified sex therapist Bat Sheva Marcus, Ph.D., MSW, MPH, notes this is a brand she recommends often. "It's not inexpensive, but because the suction needs to be fairly powerful, it's worth paying up for this. Many women say it feels like oral sex. So if you are an oral sex fan, and that gets you off, this one might be for you." Best for clitoral stimulation: The Magic Wand The Magic Wand VIEW ON GOOD VIBRATIONS | $130 VIEW ON AMAZON | $120 Pros Long battery life Plug-in and battery options Cons Bulky size Rechargeable: Yes
Waterproof: No The Magic Wand is known as the little black dress of sex toys. It's so consistent, Marcus recommends every woman should have a wand in their vibrator collection. The rechargeable pick comes with an updated, easy-to-clean silicone head and the same deep, rumbly vibrations for strong orgasms. "It's an all-around massager that works not only on my pleasure zones but also on other parts of my body or my partner's like the back, neck, and shoulders after long travels," Moore says. Best for queer women: Wet for Her's Two Finger Extender Wet for Her's Two Finger Extender VIEW ON WET FOR HER | $40 Pro Can be more comfortable than using a dildo Con Material could be softer for flexibility Rechargeable: N/A
Fleshlight SaleWaterproof: Water-resistant Ideal for G-spot stimulation, the finger extender was ergonomically designed so you could easily slip your two fingers into the toy. The body-safe material lets you feel your muscle contractions and the warmth of your body, so the touch feels natural and super-soft. Good for solo or partnered masturbation, customers rave that the toy is amazing for those who love finger play. Best for innovation: Lovense Nora Lovense Nora VIEW ON AMAZON | $120 VIEW ON LOVENSE | $100 Pro Remote controlled Great for long-distance relationships Con Customers have noted problems with the toy holding a charge Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Water-resistant "I have to admit I don't get off from penetration alone, and I know most people don't either. That's where rabbit vibrators with clitoral and internal stimulation come in," Moore notes. The water-safe and body-safe Nora toy has an external vibrating arm to deliver rumbly vibes to the clit while the insertable arm rotates instead of vibrates, which uniquely stimulates your G-spot. So, where does the innovation come in? The technological features. The app-controlled vibrator can be used at close range or far away, which also makes it a great sex toy for long-distance relationships. "You can even sync it to your favorite playlist or your partner's voice," she says.
Tips to keep in mind: See your sexuality as part of your self-care. Sexual self-care is about checking in on your sexual likes, dislikes, and preferences since they can change over time. Being in rhythm with your body and prioritizing pleasure via masturbation allows you to nurture a deeper connection with yourself. Bringing toys into your sexual self-care practice can be a bridge to work through any shame and traverse new sexual ground as well. Get in touch with your body. You can't find the right toy unless you know what makes your body tick. Phillips suggests running through several questions to help you figure out the particular features you'll want with your sex toy: "Is it to spice up your sex life with your partner? Are you not being pleasured enough, and you are tired of using your hands and fingers? Are you having a difficult time achieving an orgasm?" Getting down to the nitty-gritty opens you up to explore your pleasure zones and the type of touch you would prefer, which narrows down your choices.
Elevate the sensations you already like. Think about what you already like in bed, and then look for a toy that can give you the sort of focused stimulation you crave. "For example, if you really like using your fingers in a fast, pressure-filled way on and around your clitoris, try something that vibrates on and around your clitoris," advises Wright. "If you like the feeling of flickering on your clitoris, find a toy that mimics this either with air, a tickler, or suction. If you like dual-stimulation (penetration and clitoral stimulation) find a toy with dual stimulation." Try out new things you're curious about. It's not just about sticking with what you know. Sex toys offer a pathway to experiment with new kinks individually or in partnered scenarios. So, break away from the familiar activities and be as curious as you want to be. Trying out anal beads, remote-controlled vibrators, or internal g-spot vibrators can empower you to play out any secret fantasies or try out that hot move you saw in your favorite porno. (Here's our full guide to using every kind of vibrator.) Choose the proper materials. In the world of sex toys, not all sex toys are created equal. The FDA doesn't regulate the sex toy industry since they're not considered medical devices, so they're classified as "novelty items." Therefore, it's important to have some awareness about the chemical makeup in your sex toys to avoid any dangerous compounds. The exact material of your toy plays a heavy consideration here, and body-safe materials are king. "Don't use toys made from anything besides silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel. It's OK if a handle is made of ABS plastic, but anything going on or in your bits needs to be body-safe," Wright says.
Lube, lube, lube. Just like with sex, you don't need to just rely on natural lubrication to get you going. "Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand," Wright suggests. "Everyone needs it. I promise it makes everything better." The exact amount depends on whether you're using the sex toy internally or externally, but you can apply the lube directly on top of the toy or on your body. How to clean your toys. Wright recommends using a sex toy cleaner that's gentle enough for the genitals but also strong enough to get rid of bacteria. "How you clean a toy varies depending on the material that the toy is made out of. Some say gentle soap and water is fine; however, there are so many variables when it comes to the ingredients in soap that I prefer to use something I know isn't going to mess up vaginal pH." (Here's a full guide about how to exactly clean every sex toy out there.) She shares a few tips below: Store toys in a relatively temperature-controlled place to prevent bacteria growth. Don't store silicone on silicone (the same reason you don't use silicone lubricant on silicone toys; it creates microscopic holes for bacteria growth).
